Saturday, October 2, 2010

Holy Crap, I'm Getting FAT!

Ashley's "fuller figure"
Seriously people, I’m struggling with this. I have a muffin top!!! It wouldn’t be so bad but the majority of the weight has gone to my tummy. I was honestly scared I might be pregers at first. I am so uncomfortable with my little buddha belly folding on top of itself, it’s squishing me. BLAH!

To top it off most of my clothes don’t fit anymore. Funnily, my skinniest jeans do still fit. They are low rise enough that my new addition can ride comfortably atop the ‘waistband’, which is actually located somewhere below my hips. Trust me you don’t want to peak under my shirt! My previously favorite pair of pants, on the other hand, suddenly went from boyfriend cut hip huggers to mom jeans, complete with being slightly too short.

The Reality- Am I fat? No, I am not fat at all. I don’t actually think that I am fat either so please don’t think that you need to send me any encouraging words. I did quite rapidly put on weight in the last two months, and I’m still adjusting to it.

It is a really good sign that I have packed on enough pounds to reach a healthy weight again. I have spent the majority of the last 10 years underweight. Good for the ego, not so great for my health. My whole family and my doctor can't stop gushing about how much weight I've put on and how great I look. Society and culture don't make accepting these type of comments as complements very easy.

Along with the weight has come extra energy, improved stamina and good report cards from my doctor. I am, happily, miles and pounds ahead of where I was this time last year.

4 comments:

Lyme is real said...

Ashley, wonderful!! I remember the irony when I was at my sickest and eating impossible; when I wore size 4 on my 5'9" inch frame, I would get compliments on how fantastic I looked. It warms my heart to know you are getting better!!!

Kim said...

I echo what Kim said. When I was first sick I went from a size 10 to size 4 and people would say the same thing. You look sooo good, as if looking good equals feeling good. I felt awful. I've been gaining a bit, too, lately and am trying to focus on how much better I am rather than the spare tire I've been carrying around my belly.

Alix said...

Ashley, I'm hoping to follow you with my own buddha belly. I feel like I'm constantly trying to gain weight and it's a pain in the butt. If I ever forget about my weight gain goal for a day or so, I notice i go down in weight. Grrrr.

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