Thursday, December 31, 2009

New Year's Resolutions

I have been contemplating New Year’s Resolutions. How do you make resolutions when your life feels so out or your hands?

Well first things first, I have to stop thinking that way. It is my life and I am in control as long as I choose to be, and I do.

2009 was my first year diagnosed with Lyme. I was relieved to finally, after 10 years of suffering, know what was wrong with me. That relief quickly turned to fear as I immersed myself in researching what this diagnosis actually meant.

It was overwhelming. As you all know, Lyme disease is not an easy thing to have. It seems like there are not many set answers when it comes to this disease. It is mostly conjecture and more questions. Not only do we have to deal with having the illness, we are also stuck in the middle of a medical controversy.

For me 2009 was about learning. I want 2010 to be about curing.

My 2010 New Year’s Resolutions are:
  1. Get my health on one track. Balancing two doctors has become a major stress in my life. Starting in 2010 I am only going to see one doctor.
  2. Exercise. I am OK with starting slow, but I need to start something. I am going crazy with no activity.
  3. Move. I married my husband because I wanted to be with him, not five hours away from him.
  4. Work. Even if it is just part-time. This is as much out of desire as it is necessity.
The first step in turning my resolutions into realities will be discussing them with my doctor. He and I need to be on the same page when it comes to my health and my goals.

This is the first year I have ever made New Year’s Resolutions. I guess in the past nothing was ever as important to me as these four things are for this coming year.

I hope that 2010 brings you all progress in your Lyme journeys. I wish you all luck and thank you for your friendship and continued support.


Happy New Year
Happy New Year

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Am I Crazy?

“You are high strung.”

 “It is all in your head.”

“Everyone has off days.”

“There is nothing wrong with you.”

Were your first doctors as wonderfully supportive as mine? I’m sure that they were.

They ran tests and found nothing still they were willing to prescribed medications. Strange, I thought, why would they give me medication if they did not find anything wrong with me?

After 10 years I was diagnosed; Lyme disease, co-infections, viruses, worms, parasites, amoebas, protozoas, thyroid dysfunction, hormone imbalance…

How in the world did those other doctors miss all of that? Did they really think that I was just crazy? Well if they didn’t before, I am sure they would now. Sometimes even I think it is crazy.

Last week my doctor made me a homeopathic remedy for bartonella. He had me spit in a cup. He made a concoction out of my spit mixed with purified water and vodka. I now take four drops three times a day. Sounds like total hocus pocus. Well this is the second time I have been given the remedy. The first time I broke out with a huge bartonella rash. No denying that it works. That was all the proof I needed no matter how crazy it sounds.

Since diagnosis, and finding doctors who truly understand my illness and care about my well being, I have come face to face with quite a few “are you kidding me” moments.

I had heard about muscle testing so that was not such a shock. I am not going to pretend that I understand it though, it is weird! But, amazingly it is accurate, it works.

I have also done BioSet computer sensitivity testing, had my vitamins and supplements lazered into me, used a light machine to kill viruses and bacteria in my blood, ionic footbaths to detox, tapping to open up pathways in my body, and IVs filled with things like garlic and hydrogen peroxide to kill a blood born protozoa. You know people look at me funny when I tell them about it. They think I am NUTS!

The one thing I have not been able to get my head around was being told that my problem with garlic came not only from this life, but a past life as well. The lady told me I worked around garlic in that past life. I told her I was a vampire, it seemed just as likely to be the answer to me.

In addition to all these strange and curious therapies my doctors do use normal blood testing and medications. Are they crazy? Am I crazy to trust my health to these witches and warlocks? I don’t think so.

I have come to realize a few things from this journey. First, doctors do not have all the answers. The good ones will admit that. Second, our minds are capable of so much more than we can even begin to understand.

I also wonder why traditional therapies and herbs are discredited by most doctors and patients. Many of them have been around for hundreds some even thousands of years. Why do we put so much stock in modern medicine which does not have a very long nor very clean track record?

Am I crazy? No, just open to the possibilities and reaping the benefits.